Thursday, March 10

The love in her eyes


I feel as though Ive found some sort of new religion. Like Ive connected with a higher power. Suddenly Im able to sleep for six hours straight, no demerol or tramadol to make me haze of is needed and I have dreams again. Real ones not just hallucinations and visions from my past. I dream with such intensity I feel present while being in them. I can touch them.

When she's there, sitting in my window watching me move through veils of mystery and unknown worlds I feel at ease. The solitude that once was my permanent state of mind is now nothing but fade memories. By night, I feel like I belong. The by the hour fee is a small price to pay. Sometimes she tells me something, a short stories about her pimp or a bad drug related experience and I find great comfort in the fact that she knows exactly what it feels like. What everything feels like.

She's the most wonderful person Ive ever me
t.

11 comments:

Caroline said...

Can't really cope with this. call girls help you sleep? I think id prefer the drugs to be honest. darling, you're losing it.

Anonymous said...

I love your style of writing, but I sort of hope this is all fiction. is it?

Christopher said...

It's kind of surprising the people we can relate to. Sometimes you just click with someone and even silence starts feeling less awkward.

ralph young said...

I have to agree with Christopher here, sometimes strangers surprise you. Enjoy it, Belle.

sounds like you needed something, and now you've got it.

Francesca said...

"I dream with such intensity I feel present while being in them. I can touch them."
You write gorgeously.

Strangers are the best people to find comfort in... when you don't know who somebody is, you feel like you know them so well.

margg. said...

you have no idea how much i need to feel like this.


sometimes, strangers are what we need.
xox

Crispin said...

of course its fiction, lovely fiction, but it is by no means consistent or possible or remotely true. besides no one who is rich and of class would show of wealth in this way. and she is of class. i read this as poetry, filled with metaphors. most of them mean solitude, some vanity.

Tabs A. Geek said...

Often times peace and solitude is found amongst strangers. Ones who can relate but know nothing of your past to pass judgement. Rather, they can just lend their sympathy.

Tabs A. Geek said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anise said...

you make me think of The Malady of Death by Marguerite Duras, have you read it? such a lovely sad and lovely book.

xx x

Ophelia said...

wish i knew her - i haven't slept
six hours staight even when a babe.