Sunday, November 29
Thursday, November 26
I have several missed calls from Ellie, Amanda and others far less important. I have ten texts of which I have responded none and my doorbell has made sounds three times but I have not opened it once since Tuesday. Why do I still feel alone one might ask. I don't think further about it.
My new favorit that now shares a rating that is one on the top three pills to take is Propavan ,second one is Atarax when taken in large amounts and third is Prozac. So guess what I've been up to these last couples of days.. Yes, sleeping. Like a child
Monday, November 23
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she would meet her connection
At her feet was her footloose man
- Rolling Stones
Something isn't right, I've been social for several days in a row now and it has been wearing me out. It takes a lot of strength to put a smile on everyday to go with your dress and heels, especially since I dress in black all day every day. Black and smiles does not go well together.
So I decided to stay in today, although I did attend school like I promised mother to do. And speaking of her, she has not mentioned anything about moving home although Tom is buriedand now long gone. I guess I should have been careful with my wishes...
Any minute now my Foie gras and a bottle of white wine will appear outside my door and from now on I will not utter a single word until the sun rises again.
Enjoy your evening lovers.
Wednesday, November 18
Monday, November 16
Saturday, November 14
But I am a little bit worried now.. Will she come home? How the fuck will I manage that?
Thursday, November 12
With this lonely game we play
Looking for words to say?
But not finding understanding anyway
We're lost in a mas--masquerade
- George Benson
I have one big phobia, one thing that scares me more than anything and that is my own phone. When it rings, my heart literally stops for a second and I shiver when I answer, if I answer. I hate answering my phone even when I know who's calling but today an unknown number called and I still can't believe I had the guts to answer, maybe it is my new found feeling of freedom from the Berlin trip that helped or maybe it was the bottle of Barolo 90's red wine that I poured down my throat after school - either way I did answer and it was one of Amanda’s friends, Ellie who invited me to a masquerade party tonight. You see, these people do not work and they do not study so a party today makes as much since to them as it does on a Friday for normal people. I don't belong in either category but I accepted anyway. If only I had that McQueen masc, that the horrible Lady Gaga had in some editorial I can't remember it would have been perfect, but I don't and I doubt that there is anyone in London who'll bring it to my door before the dark falls, and I don't do shopping. I don't do stores, and I especially don't do sales.
I guess I'll have to find something in my mothers closet, I told you she dated a man who stole things from the Danish operas closet didn't I? I bet she has something worth wearing thanks to that wonderful man.
Wednesday, November 11
Never had a friend or wanted one
So I just lay back and laugh at the sun
- Frank Sinatra
I'll tell you all about Berlin later today since I am actualy going to school now. To prepare myself for a day of horrible experiences such as having to talk to my fellow classmates I've started the day with two gin and tonics and half a Tramadol. Now I'm numb enought to shut their idiotic talk out and simply wander off inside my own head.
Have a nice day lovers.
Saturday, November 7
Fur: old and used, belonged to my grandmother. Bracelets: Mar by Marc Jacobs
Dress: stolen from the married mans closet, I assume it belonges to his wife. She is thin for a woman her age. Or maybe I'm fat. Anyway, a stolen dress is better than a dress you bought for yourself, and what is she going to do about it?
Wednesday, November 4
Besides a pair of Jimmy Choos, a marc by Marc Jacobs bracelet and diamond earings shaped like teardrops my mother also sent an clear check with the note " Buy yourself a ticket over here and take a swim with me"
I don't think so.. I'll go shopping tomorrow and then I'll escape town again. It was a long time since I visited Mike in Berlin, an old friend of mine from my early days as a manhunter. He wasn't my first, but that wasn't what I told him and after that he has sent me flowers every birthday. Besides, there is life in Berlin and I need some of that.