Tuesday, February 16

To know her is to love her

My mother deserves a whole months worth of blogging to describe. I don't feel like it, so heres the basics:

She enjoys wine, and young boys. To much wine sometimes and that often ends with to young boys, fresh mens with curious eyes and jersey sweaters.
She does not show affection, I'm not sure she likes me at all. But she does call me darling, Belle-darling, almost like it's my full name. And she disappeard the day before I started blogging to seek an endless summer in Australia with a lover of hers, and has not returned yet although he died from heartfailure ( you know this, right?)

That's all I know. And that she smelles of Chanel no 5, wears nothing but Jimmy Choos and does not speak fondly of my father. But he askes about her all the time. So I stole his lap top and climed up to the attic. All the company I want right now is you dear readers and the girl with dark bangs from the photos. And the bottle of wine I so cleverly hid in my lugage. I haven't had wine in forever and I'm sure it'll feel very Proustian, sort of like remembrances of guilty pleasures past.

12 comments:

les jeune fille à les oiseaux said...

your blog looks lovely.
i hope that maybe, just maybe, your father makes up for what your mother is lacking in your life.

love each day.

lauren said...

you have a way with words...that was heartbreaking, honest, and beautiful...

http://laurenlanzaosias.blogspot.com

NabilaHazirah said...

I hope your mother returns soon,and see how beautiful her daughter has become.

melanie said...

sounds very similar to my dear mother. the only differense is that my mom acctually think she knows me. i am at least honest enough to say that when people talk about "that special mother, daughter bond" they are not talking of us unlike her who refers to us as "very close". i'll probably be just like her so it's about time i get my tubes tied.
love

Gage said...

you are an excellent writer, thoroughly enjoyed your post, and hope that your mother is doing well in australia. your blog header is beautiful, my dear :)

Melanie said...

your blog is intriguing... I read with much intrigue

http://londongirlupnorth.blogspot.com

this wheel's on fire said...

gorgeous blog dear--and i agree about a single man, definitely one of the most beautiful films i've seen in ages xo

E said...

Your posts are always so intriguing, so story-like.

Do you write any outside of this blog?

Belle Armed said...

Thank you sweethearts. I have written one piece for Balladof online magazine, but other than that nothing except for this.

Sophia said...

Tragic and heart breaking.

Much love,
Sophia

Anonymous said...

THX for sharing

Panty Buns said...

I don't mean this to sound disparaging - I had a drinking problem for 20 years or so and have been sober over 24 years now, Perhaps your mum is an alcoholic? There are 10 questions from Alcoholics Anonymous she should probably try to earnestly ask herself. Children of Alcoholics generally have a lot to deal with emotionally. Maybe someday you can be a good mother to your mum and show her how its done.