I was looking for a place to hide away

Picture borrowed from the lovely Novastyleblogg

Instead I lost the heart I gave away
Tell me how could love stand a chance?

When I got home after being kicked out of mathclass I feelt content, I was going to spend my afternoon with Charles and drink some more wine. Instead I found out that he was nowhere to be found. He doesn't even have the decensy to answer my fucking textmessages. So I tried to call my mother to get some motherly advice, some love.

No answer for several hours. Later; a voicemail where she spoke in vocals, laughing and saying Dear, I hope you're feeling well. I am busy, I'll call you later

So I did something I haven't done in ages. I dialed a number far far away, to a warmer place where everyone is tanned and the recever has grey strings in his hair and smelles of cigarres. My father has not been very precent in my life.I was 6 years oldwhen I first met him, where he was before I haven't got an answer to and then left again four years later ( this was at the same time as my mother started laughing louder and crying more often, a time when there was bottles of wine everywhere and her makeup wasn't used for long periods of time. I understand why he left, I just wish he hadn't)

-Come live with me for a while princess, I need some company and you need a father. Little girls do.

He doesn't know I'm not a kid anymore, I guess he still pictures me as a child with my hair in high ponytails, but I need the vacation. I'm going to LA tomorrow morning. Don't know when I'll come back. Don't know if I even will tell mother. It's not like she cares. And Charles.. well Charles can go to hell.