Thursday, February 11

I was looking for a place to hide away

Picture borrowed from the lovely Novastyleblogg

Instead I lost the heart I gave away
Tell me how could love stand a chance?

When I got home after being kicked out of mathclass I feelt content, I was going to spend my afternoon with Charles and drink some more wine. Instead I found out that he was nowhere to be found. He doesn't even have the decensy to answer my fucking textmessages. So I tried to call my mother to get some motherly advice, some love.

No answer for several hours. Later; a voicemail where she spoke in vocals, laughing and saying Dear, I hope you're feeling well. I am busy, I'll call you later

So I did something I haven't done in ages. I dialed a number far far away, to a warmer place where everyone is tanned and the recever has grey strings in his hair and smelles of cigarres. My father has not been very precent in my life.I was 6 years oldwhen I first met him, where he was before I haven't got an answer to and then left again four years later ( this was at the same time as my mother started laughing louder and crying more often, a time when there was bottles of wine everywhere and her makeup wasn't used for long periods of time. I understand why he left, I just wish he hadn't)

-Come live with me for a while princess, I need some company and you need a father. Little girls do.

He doesn't know I'm not a kid anymore, I guess he still pictures me as a child with my hair in high ponytails, but I need the vacation. I'm going to LA tomorrow morning. Don't know when I'll come back. Don't know if I even will tell mother. It's not like she cares. And Charles.. well Charles can go to hell.


Miri said...

hun when are you coming? Read your letters som days ago, haven't read them in years, and then all out of a suddden you're visiting haha. It's just supernatural.

SaraJ said...

you´r not allowed 2 go home before we have met up love. i hope you know that.

Aquiles Damiron-Alcantara said...

You are coming to LA!! That is so crazy, yet awesome. If that is what you need....enjoy it.


Sophia said...

Wow, interesting. Sorry about your dad, but it keeps a vacation spot open. Have fun and forget about your troubles back home with Charles.

Much love,

The Girl Who Loves Velvet said...

i hope you feel better soon.
you have a gerogous blog, if you have time would you look at mine?
thanks xx

TheLittleFlower said...

sorry to hear about your dad.hope everything goes well.