Wednesday, March 17

When there's no where els to run

I'm feeling worn out, like someone punched me right between the eyes and now I can't really see straight.
It resembles the feeling I get from mixing plum wine with Propavan but I haven't, not since I got here at least. I feel old, like a houndred year old woman trapped in the body of a teenager. Maybe I need to sleep when the dark falls and be awake when normal people are, but I have such a hard time sleeping that I can't plan it. My body decides for me, when it wants to sleep it does but when I want to it objects. Forces me to be up, making my legs restless and my body aches from being so damn tired but still so bloody energetic.

I gathered some pillows and climbed up to the attic with gin on the rocks and a cigarette between my lips so that I won't chew on them like I always do although my mother used to spend hours everyday telling me what an awful habit it is. I can't seem to stop.

I'll read Le chien couchant until my eyes can't take it anymore, until they finaly let me drift of into a haze of smokey dreams and lips with drops of wine still left on them.


sanchez said...

Your such a wonderful writier deary.

Sleeping seems to be a big issue for a lot of people.
I hope you have nice dreams soon.

Anonymous said...

Lovely girl, as a fellow insomniac...

Don't let anyone prejudice against it just because it's easier on them and society for you to sleep with the chickens. My life has taken some crazy and amazing turns because of it.

Laying in bed is just as restful as sleeping. Learn to meditate. It really does help and does amazing things for your writing much more than booze and pills (but I understand about those too - truly I do).

xo - E.

JenniAsh said...

Good post.
I can empathise with this. :)

Anonymous said...

I feel you. I know that punch it stings. Lately, my sleep has been bad. Scotch and Red Wine have been my remedies.

You are a beautiful woman.

Can we sit together sip on really good French wine and have you read your blog to me in French?

apparellel said...

Oh sweet thing I know the feeling all too well. I wish I could help in some way. I hope you've at least gotten some rest by the time you read this.



Helga said...

Sleeping pills,some greenery,and/or green ginger wine is a no fail for me!!Too much on your mind......

Susan said...

take good care of yourself, darling...

Sophia said...

I share your pain. I have trouble sleeping, therefore I resort to naps whenever I can.

xo, Sophia