Monday, March 8
we're gonna die at the same time
What a night it was, Saras birthday party was held below the big W just like I told you and I think we could all smell the desperation and longing for fame it stands for.
Avy pushed a boy down the hill with anger in her eyes and I stood by not sure weather to laugh or be worried. From what I've heard, he had it coming.
We decorated the hill with empy bottles, more and more as the night went on and I was overwhelmed with all the joy these girls seem to posses, they have a way of making everything seem impossible. Nothing like London girls, I'll tell you that. I kissed the youngest boy my lips ever met, he didn't even have wrinkles in the corner of his eyes and that sure is new to me. I like them old otherwise, no suprise there.
But I didn't go home with him like the little gossip girl SaraJo claims. When the party came to an end, close to sunrise I went on a long walk and then I returnd to the scene. It was bisarre. Almost like returning to a place where you committed murder, just to se if you remember it all correctly. I sat down, found some left over wine and smoked for an hour straight. And then it all hit me. I live here. This is my new life that I've chosen for myself. My eyes seemed to think that was sad, or just confusning, but eitherway I started crying while my mouth was smiling and making me look like a moron. A complete fool.
Nevertheless, great night.