Monday, January 3

Red soles and black coffee

Yesterday morning, I hadnt slept at all. Thoughts moved around in my mind with a speed similar to racing cars. Like club kids on x.They made me dizzy, I couldn't turn their volume down even after three Demerol and half a bottle. All it did was turn the speed up. I screamed into my pillow, threw up in a wine glass placed by my bed. Cried and screamed some more. Needless to say ; when the morning sun hit my window I looked like shit. Like seven years of anxiety and panic had washed over me.

So when the sound of keys turning a lock came from the hallway I rushed to put on a shirt, the housekeeper doesnt need to see my bare chest again (she was horrified the last time) and made my way to meet her with a check. But the steps didnt sound like hers, they had more power, more determination in them. They wore sharp high heels.

-Dear god, when did you last shower?

-Welcome home, mother.

6 comments:

ali usman said...

hmmmm u knw what.... most excitin part of the blog was.... bare chest.... yummmmmy......

Tabs A. Geek said...

Oh dear. That sounds like it is a horrifying start to a morning after a night of no sleep.


... Good luck?

helen said...

well that most certainly wasn't expected. what happened next, dear?

Lilah said...

oh dear
i hope youre okay
i know what a night of being harassed by cruel thoughts can do

Loulou said...

just had to reference to the red soles, forgive. I shiver when I remember those two kinds of steps, the over confident harsh sounds my mothers feet made, mostly drunk but never stumbled, and the ever obedient tiny taps of the housekeepers, trying to be invisible which was sometimes just as scary…
Happy new year, try not to be scared, she might be weaker than you think

Jen said...

I hope you're okay! Sounds bad waking up like that..