Sunday, January 16

suicide solution

Been dying slowly these past couple of days. Been seeing everything I ate in reverse, reliving all nine stages of hell (Yes, Ive been to hell and back before) and sleeping more than Ive ever done before. In sheets stained with sin Ive sweated out all anxiety from my past. Iris gave me four Tramadol and left. That was wednesday so Im doubting she'll be back.

She fears weakness more than anything. More than love.

The fever is slowly dropping to a more suitable temperature (close to Rigor mortis), my back is drying up and I start to regain some sort of consciousness. I light cigarettes although I still have burning ones in the ashtray next to me.
I do not wish to be anywhere else, nor to be anyone else. Not because this miserable existence is what Id choose above all but because I simply cant imagin anything else.





8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you

belle Armed said...

Dont hide, I want to love you to.

Lund3on said...

I love you. You're beautiful. Even behind the laptop screen.

Warm up, Missy. The sun's outside and waiting for.

<3

Ke said...

Your writing is perfect, you are such a unique soul, dear.

Do you have a facebook? Is it possible to add you?

Cass. said...

Don't stop writing, Belle..

I adore it so much

Kaleidoscope Girl said...

'I do not wish to be anywhere else, nor to be anyone else. Not because this miserable existence is what Id choose above all but because I simply cant imagin anything else.'

You've got it.

Anonymous said...

Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

Tabs A. Geek said...

I hope the fever goes away soon... Only you can make something so bad seem so beautiful.