Tuesday, January 18

An angel bored like hell

Walked through the deep fog in the hallway, made my way to kitchen with a vison so blury I couldn't tell if I was alone or not. Three Tramadol and gin on the rocks is to much. One and some plum wine is to little.

A bottle of what I assumed was champagne was left half filled on the table. I grabbed it, jumped up the window and slowly came back to life. A note on the table, took forever to read. Iris had indeed left. It told me more than that though

Funeral a week from now, noon. You know where.
Black, of course. Wear a bra, do not wear anything with lace.
I wont return until then, get your act together.

Decided to walk the shame off and to not get dressed. A black trench, unbottoned but belted halfway covered my naked body. Cold winds and strangers said bonjour to the freckles on my upper ribs. On a bench close to Liberty I sat down, smoked slowly and wiped away some slow moving tears. Hours passed, evening turned into night.
An alley not so far away, she asked the man infront of me if he wanted some company. He looked back at me, lowered his head and shrugged. Like I would judge you Mr, like I would be pure enough to through a stone. When I passed her I noticed her freckles, similar to mine. Her stockings were ripped, but the dress was a Chloè.

I wonder how she ended up there. Selling what I give away to who ever cares enough.
She could have thought the exact same thing about me. How did I end up there?


Loulou said...

its absolutely weird (or maybe its not) I just read your post and logged in to write you something similar when i saw your words(sry its sounds lame written out).
This is so beautiful, you turn everything into beauty even your own torture. How do you do that? Dark magic, almost black, who knows. How did we end up here? It just occurred to me that we did not end. This is my mind’s mantra now. We did not end. Up. Yet. Belle, your words meant more than you know. I wish I could have run into liberty’s to get you chocolates, candles and flowers, to decorate the bench. And champagne to pour over our heads (in order to make proper idiots out of ourselves) and to share with the girl. And a dress for you. The most delicate and useless dress I could have found.
But I don’t even know if they sell good champagne at Liberty’s.

Tabs A. Geek said...

Speechless yet again.

Jazzy E (hivennn) said...

So beautiful. x hivennn.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

This is heartbreakingly beautiful. I love it. xoxo

Avy said...

How does anyone end up anywhere? I hope to see you soon love.

char said...

this made my heart ache. so beautiful... your writing weaves it's way into my bones.
thank you so much for your lovely comment, i'm glad it led me to finding your blog :)