Monday, September 21

Childhood memories

Don't let me know we're invisible
Hot cash days that you trailed around
Cold cold nights under chrome and glass
Led me down river of perfumed limbs
-David Bowie
I used to have crooked teeth when I was younger and everybody said it was charming, everyone except my mother. So she sent me to a dentist who gave me an invisible brace that was supposed to fix my awful beauty-error and make the unbearable shame for my mother easier to live with. It looked great after just a couple of weeks but the pain was insufferable.
And since no one knew anything, and I was embarrassed enough not to tell, no one understood why I was in such an awful mood all the time. They had no idea what kind of pain I was going trough every time I tried to eat, and my whole life nowadays feels exactly like that.

Abandoned, alone and empty. But Amanda just texted me that we are going out to drink away our sorrows (she has been dumped by her underwear model boyfriend so I guess it’s more for her sake than mine, but I don’t care) so I’ll reluctantly face this awful city tonight but I’ll do it dressed in disaster, and Marc Jacobs heels.

The dress belonged to my grandmother, bought by my grandfather in Paris over 60 years ago.. They used to be real men, huh? And the ring was sent with love from father last christmas.


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