Saturday, September 3


Some of you have heard this story before, some of you think you know all about my father figure Frank and some of you are new and have no idea. So I thought I'd break it down to you.

Hold your breath while reading this, please.

My mother Iris, who left two years a go to seek an endless summer across the ocean, never stopped loving him. He left her when I was very young, later returned and put our worlds up side down. Then he left again. Without a word, without a trace. But she didn't stop loving him. And he still loves her. Why aren't they still togheter? Well, Iris isn't a pleasent woman to spend your life with. She loves gin more than me, and maybe... just maybe more than him as well. And Frank isn't really mr stable. They were a great love story while they lasted, they were a horrid sci-fi flick when reality catched up with them.

Father figure Frank lives in LA, a place I refer to as the rabbit-hole of my teenage years. I visited him a couple of times, and it always ended in tears and acid drenched nights. He takes beatiful pictures for a living, but he refuses to photograph me. I don't know why.

There is a lot that I don't know about him. But I know this
1)He makes me feel safe
2)He cares, even though he doesn't know how to
3) He always smells like bourbon and cigarettes. He wears nothing but black.
4) No matter how much I reject him, he never stops trying.
5)He is the only one who truly knows me. And still loves me.

Read more here, and here, and here

and now ; Exhale


juliet said...

nice photos and really good article!
Thank you for nice comment :) I am following you, If you wanna follow me back, I´ll be happy :)

Fainting Spell said...

Wo, this story is sad and beautiful, but I couldn't imagine how would be to live this... Although while they love themselves... This is good, my parents is together but it isn't love.
Thank for your comment, really those films are od my favourites!
and sorry for my english, I'm learning yet!

The Cat Hag said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog. ♥

I love how you share your life so openly and honestly here, your parents' love story sounds complicated yet sweet in it's own way. :)

The Cat Hag
Join My Giveaway

culturafemenina said...

engagingand complicated...I couldn't stop reading!

Anonymous said...

GReat blog, amazing your looks!


Josie said...

thanks :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your lovely comment! : ) Love the Pictures ... Your trenchcoat looks beautiful and I adore your lipstick.

Mind following each other? We'll sure follow you back. ; )

il était une fois... said...

ahh you look rad! love the sunnies!!
ps. thanks for your comment sweets! you have a new follower! x x

Melmo said...

oh wow. i'm kinda speechless. I guess your childhood wasn't easy. I hope know you feel better about it.

oh and i love your trenchcoat^^

Clara Turbay said...

I like this blog. cool post. i´d like you check out mine.

Ani said...

beautiful writings! you must learn spanish so you can read my posts...


Anonymous said...

We follow you now! : ) We don't see you as a follower. : ) Would you fruit once again?


crazy pig said...

Pretty deep post! Your writing reminds me Pneumonia White in some way.

/However, I love sunnies and lipstick, it goes well together.

Sebástien said...

thank u so much!! i love your looks!

Emily Ulrich said...

I'm so sorry about all you went through. Grievances and pains make us stronger, though, you can't forget that.

Superblondeep said...

I love this look! thanx for your comment on my blog darling! xoxo

Barry said...

As far as parents, my world's been upside down since I was twelve with more drama than any soap opera you could think of. What I've learned is, the people who are meant to be in our lives aren't always the ones who should be, but those who want to.

Natasha said...

Crazy gorgeous. Your life sounds like an artsy novel.

Cynthia said...

okay, now I've got the backstory.

Anonymous said...

wow belle WHO seriously can make a luxurious living from photography these days? even the most famous do struggle a bit. unless he is not mario testino or peter lindberg this very very mysterious.

well great story teller, you. but don't take it too far ("he doesn't take pictures of me") why didn't you say you do not want to post his pictures of you as his style is so significant that his anonymity cannot be kept this way? oh belle, belle...

but you give most readers what they want, no eve crave for and this is the cathedral of lies; blogger, the internet. and you do all of this too well.

Belle Armed said...

who ever said he lives a glamour filled life? who ever said he was rich?

H, Im getting sick of this.

He refuses to take photos of me. I don't know why. He doesn't want to. So shut the fuck up.

Anonymous said...

sick of your own lies, maybe? Thats what you wrote abaut your stay at franks house in LA;
On such a timeless flight
In the middle of the night, with stars above me and my legs in the pool I sat quietly listening to my morning jackets version of Rocket man and I'm gonna be high as a kite by then sipping gin on the rocks. And then I saw her. Long dark hair with soft curls, a black dress touching the ground as she walked fast out from our house and into her car. She looked in the mirror and wiped away what I can only assume was tears under her eyes, or maybe it was dust and drove off. With the wind in her hair, a cigarette that left traces in the air and those lips that carried a colour of red wine - she looked like a heroine. Like someone who could take on the world. But that night she wouldn't.

She reminded me of myself. I washed away that disturbing thought with several large sips and dove into the pool. Cleansing myself.

Posted by Belle Armed at Friday, April 09, 2010

Loulou said...

what the f**** are you on about, anon

belle, what are those who want to put us down but people who deep down inside lack something so much more profoundly then our hazy manic emptiness.


Loulou said...

"then we in our hazy manic emptiness do", was what i meant, i am awfully sorry for the superhyper comment spam'min of your gorgeous blog today!

Belle Armed said...

Loulou, my darling! I know who anon is, and she is not well. so, we'll just have to excuse her manic behavior.

But thank you for being to kind. I adore you.

lusine said...

cool look!

Francesca Della Valle said...

cool blog!
i like it!

Chloe said...

Wine lips are my favourite. You rock this look.


Thanks for your comment

Tabs A. Geek said...

Those who attack anonymously are merely people who are so passive-aggressive that they hide behind a faceless, nameless account to spew acid at people in order to make them feel better about the kind of person they are.

Lies or not, your story intrigues. While there is a large chance every ounce of your story may not be true, who has ever written a story without embellishing?

Your tale remains beautiful and bittersweet.

Bathwater said...

There has to be something good about a man who knows the truth but still keeps trying...I hope.