Friday, December 17

Abandon all hope ye who enters here

Where're you going?

I ran through rows of well dressed people. Chinawhite doesn't even have a sign, its so pretentious I couldnt stand it. I left A there, she handles those situations well but I panic. I always panic.

An hour maybe two before I left, a model offered me some escape and then she peed while I was still in the booth. Models are horrible people. Model citizens. The ones who will all save us someday.
God loves the beautiful ones.
Two drops of blood from my nose landed in the champagne, I drank it all - thirsty for something real. Something human.

Someone knocked and pulled the door handle . We'd been in there for ever. The model and I. When I first kissed her she pulled away, then she laughed - took a deep breath, a snow white inhalation. Then she she said ; Do you know someone, like really know someone? Inside out, get them completely? Cause I dont think we ever really will.

Its just dust.Peter Pan didn't want to grow up. You can even walk on it. Fly above it. It kills every sound around you if you want it to, creates a layer of innocence on top of everything you see. Its a brand new start, it covers the filth. Its snow. And the winter is much like the truth ; cold and awful but beautiful from the outside looking in.


Loulou said...

you see the details, you see THINGS, you are aware of everything just like easton ellis. but you turn this into something less nihilistic somehow.
god, chinawhite seems to haven't changed a bit. things and beings that and who do not change loose their beauty and die.
(not that chinawhite had either life or beauty ever anyway)
keep warm

Loulou said...

PS:(i ve tried, mostly in vain)

Allie said...

wow, I just found your blog today and I am really impressed. I love the paradoxes you create with your words- it's all so beautiful.

Anonymous said...

You explain it perfectly. Perfectly... In this aching, surreal way that grips me down to my bones... (they're there, somewhere.) xoxo And somehow, just by reading what you've written, I manage to feel something like 'beautiful', at least 'pretty', or ethereal. It's a start... it's the mood I need to get out of this hell. Thank you. Because even when it hurts, it's a good hurt.

Jennifer Fabulous said...

You are a spectacular writer. I sincerely didn't want this to end. It was so good!

Sophia said...

Thank you. Thank you for commenting; for letting me know someone cares. You make me want to continue writing. Your blog, there are no words to describe it's perfection. But not so perfect, because perfection is boring and asphyxiating. You're the complete opposite of that. You are so goddamn gorgeous too.

Anise said...

my god i missed you and your sentences that make my breath hitch

xx x

Tabs A. Geek said...

I think you should consider putting your blog into a novel... your words are so full of beauty and brilliance, and read together it flows like an intoxicatingly addictive story.