Tuesday, December 14

If you cant beat them (join them?)

I was ten, it was four days until christmas and I was in London. Boarding schools does not accept minors to spend the holidays in their premises without parental approval. No matter how much I begged.

Trying to read Rules of attraction, falling in love with Sean Bateman. In the dining hall- laughter climbs the walls, mothers voice clear and oh so loud and then he proposed. Can you imagine. Dear lord, I can not cope. Such a sad old man he is. Ten, or maybe even twelve different laughs joined hers.
Mockery, one of her many talents.
Tea parties, one of her many excuses to avoid me (out of sight, outof mind)

They didnt drink tea, and their gossip wasnt suitable for my sensitive ears. I wasnt allowed to leave my room until they all had left. That didnt spare my soul. I could smell them, hear them far to clearly. Pearls and Chanel dresses. Gin on the rocks served in tea cups, scones and cigarettes.

8 comments:

Cass. said...

Someone made the air absoluteley beautiful to breathe in.. but now it only hurts when I do..

(I've missed you too)

Cass. said...

PS -

I'm glad you're back

sanchez said...

So absolutely glad you're back.

la flore et la faune . com said...

nice photos, strange atmosphere

Loulou said...

i'm shocked by the beauty of this. there is some "don't look now"- atmosphere in it, but without the drowning.
pearls and chanel dresses, (and hidden bottles)will always remind me of my mum. i am -amazed! that you are posting again, i read your whole blog once in one sleepless night.
love,
L.

margg. said...

this is so beautiful.
the kind of beauty that people spend their whole lives trying to figure out.

xo

zinnsoldatin said...

yes i did. thank you so much.

the name of your blog sounds gorgeous. really.

Tabs A. Geek said...

Your blog is amazing. Glad to see you posting semi-regularly again.